Columbus has a lot to be proud about. It’s the state capital, it’s the home to one of the nation’s largest, and finest, universities as well as a number of Fortune 500 companies, and it is one of the few growing cities in the Midwest. Now we can also proudly say that we are home to a kid who played video games for at least four straight days and had to be hospitalized for dehydration as a result.
What a tribute to the family values, careful parenting, and common sense that have made our city such a fine place to live! Fifteen-year-old Tyler Rigby locked himself into his room for four days to engage in a Modern Warfare 3 marathon, leaving his room only to use the bathroom and eat. Eventually he left his room and collapsed due to dehydration. His mother — who apparently didn’t do anything to stop Tyler’s ludicrous video game marathon — said she was worried he was going to die. Fortunately, he’s been filled with fluids and is expected to be okay.
Yes, it’s a proud day for Columbus, and for attentive parents everywhere.
You read it right: “toilet gaming.” Or, to be precise, urinal gaming. Apparently modern men simply can’t abide the 50 seconds or so of down time that usually accompanies the basic human function of bladder evacuation. It’s just so damn tedious, standing there on the sticky floor of a public restroom, staring at the wall a few inches ahead while you answer nature’s call! So, 