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Posts Tagged ‘The Penny Chronicles’

The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , , , on May 15, 2013 | 1 Comment »

My name is Penny.

IMG_1230I have fur.  It’s just the way I am.

Today, the Leader took me outside.  That made me happy.  But then the Leader took out the brush.

I hate the brush.  The Leader uses it on my fur, and the fur comes off and flies through the air like snow.  It makes me sad to see that fur on the ground.  It was part of me, and now it’s gone.  And the brush is only used on me!  Kasey never gets the brush.  The old boring guy never gets the brush, either.

I know the Leader knows what she is doing.  I trust her.  I know she is using the brush because she thinks it is good for me.  I just don’t know why.

After the Leader was done brushing, we went for a walk.  It was a warm day, but suddenly I felt a nice breeze.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , , , on May 2, 2013 | 1 Comment »

My name is Penny.

During the day, when the Leader is gone, I look out the window so I can run to the door when the Leader gets back.  Sometimes, though, looking out the window makes me mad.

It happens when this cat comes into our yard.  Oh, I hate that cat!  It comes prancing into our yard like it owns the place.  Kasey and I bark and bark, but the cat keeps coming.  It will walk right up, look at me, and stretch out and show its claws.  I bark even louder when the cat does that, but I can’t get outside to chase it.

I bet that cat smells bad.  I bet it smells really bad.  Ha, ha!  Hey, cat, you stink!

Boy, I really hate that cat.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Humor, tagged , , , , , on April 23, 2013 | 1 Comment »

My name is Penny.

IMG_3645I am usually hungry.  When I am hungry, I look for food.  When I see something that looks like food, I take it.

Yesterday my hunting turned up a promising item.  It was brown, which is a good color for food.  My food in the morning and night is brown.  And it was in one of those shiny wrappers.  Usually those shiny wrappers are put on good food.  I’ve seen the old boring guy put this kind of thing in his mouth, too.  So when I saw it on the counter, so I grabbed it.

When I bit it though, it wasn’t good food.  It was dry and dusty and crumbled against my teeth.  It tasted bitter, too.  Yuck!  So even though I was hungry, I didn’t eat it.  That should tell you something about how bad it tasted.  That’s the last time I ever take the old boring guy’s recommendation!

When the old boring guy got home and saw the brown thing, he was mad.  I don’t know why.  I left it for him, didn’t I?

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , on March 24, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

My name is Penny.

IMG_3433When I wake up in the morning, I am hungry and want to eat.  I mean, right away.  Why not?  I am hungry!

Usually, that is not a problem.  The old boring guy gets up early, feeds me and Kasey, and then takes us on a long, boring walk.  The boring walk with the old boring guy is the price we pay for a full belly.

Sometimes the old boring guy doesn’t get up early.  I’m not sure why.  On those days, I have to wake him up to get my food.  So, I use the flap.  The flap is when I twirl my head very fast.  When I do that, my ears flap against my head and make a slapping sound, and my collar jingles.  If one flap doesn’t work, I do it again.  And again.  And again.  Then Kasey will do the flap, too. No one can sleep for long when two dogs are doing the flap!

We’ll keep doing the flap until the old boring guy gets up and gives us our food.  Sorry, old boring guy!  Time to rise and shine, because we are hungry!

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , , on February 19, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

My name is Penny.

That’s my real name, bIMG_3161ut sometimes the other members of my pack call me “Lugnut.”  I’m not sure what means, but if the Leader says it and gives me a hug it must be a good name to have.

I think “Lugnut” must mean a dog just like me.  It must mean a dog who likes to slurp cool water from the water bowl when she’s thirsty.  A dog who likes to look out the window and bark when strangers walk by.  A dog who likes to snooze in the sunshine and snuggle next to the Leader whenever she can.  A dog who likes to explore the world outside and smell its interesting smells.  A dog who likes to eat and expects to be fed when she’s hungry.

“Lugnut” must mean a dog who takes her time and enjoys the finer things in life.  If that’s what “Lugnut” means, then I think it’s a good name for me.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, weather, tagged , , , , , on February 9, 2013 | 3 Comments »

My name is Penny.

IMG_1922It was raining yesterday morning when the old boring guy took us for a walk.  I mean, really raining.  The kind of rain that soaks through your fur and bounces off the ground, too.  Kasey and I looked outside and didn’t want to go.  But the old boring guy tugged and tugged, and off we went.

Why would anyone want to walk in rain?  Why would anyone want to get all wet, and muddy, and cold?

I thought maybe the old boring guy didn’t notice it was raining, so I stopped cold.  That made the old boring guy notice, because he almost fell down.  He got mad and pulled me forward.  I walked a ways, then stopped again.  Ha, ha!  He can make me walk in rain, but I don’t have to like it.

Then Kasey got into the act.  While the old boring guy was bending over to pick up poop — why does he do that, anyway? — she ran behind him and tied him up.  He had to drop this thing he was carrying to keep the rain off.  He got all wet, and that made him even madder. At least he knew it was raining.

But even though the old boring guy knew it was raining, he made us keep walking.  When I finally got home, I was covered in water and mud.  It was no fun, and then the old boring guy had to clean me off — which also made him mad.

Hey, old boring guy!  Kasey and I think if you don’t want to get mad, you shouldn’t walk us in the rain!

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Penny, tagged , , , , , on January 29, 2013 | 3 Comments »

My name is Penny.

Yesterday I was bad, but I don’t care.

IMG_3018While the Leader was away, I found her boot.  I love that boot.  It smells like the Leader’s foot.  It has fur on the inside, and it’s chewy on the outside.  I’ve smelled it before, but I’ve never chewed it because the Leader takes it away.

This time, the Leader wasn’t there.  So, I sat down and began to chew.  When my tooth finally sank through the leathery outside into the fur, it was like heaven!  When I ripped a piece off the boot, it was even better.  I chewed and tugged, and chewed and tugged, and kept pulling off little pieces of boot.  They all smelled great, because they smelled like the Leader.  After a while, there was a pile of boot pieces.

Then, the Leader came home.  She saw what I did, and she acted mad.  Deep down, though, I know she wasn’t really mad.  She understood that I needed to chew that boot.  That’s why she’s such a great Leader.

I don’t care about the old boring guy’s shoes.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , , , on January 21, 2013 | 2 Comments »

My name is Penny.

IMG_0575I like having Kasey around the house.  She keeps things interesting, and she keeps the old boring guy on his toes.  But, there’s something about her that is very embarrassing.  It’s almost too embarrassing to even talk about.

Kasey joined the pack only a while ago.  I’m not sure what kind of upbringing she had.  I don’t think she learned much about refinement or how to behave in polite canine society.  She’s probably a country dog, and she just isn’t very sophisticated.

When I first saw Kasey do it, I was shocked.  I hoped that she wouldn’t do it again, but then she did, again and again.  Then I hoped that no one would notice.  But the other day Young Master was taking us for a walk, and he saw Kasey do it.  He was disgusted, and I don’t blame him.

You see, Kasey eats . . . dog poop.

Can you imagine!  How embarrassing!  Every self-respecting dog knows you roll in poop, not eat it!  I guess I’m going to have to teach her some manners.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , , on January 10, 2013 | 3 Comments »

My name is Penny.

IMG_2866Kasey likes the couch.  During the day, that’s where she’ll be.  At night, that’s where she’ll be.  That’s always where she is, except when she’s eating.

When the Leader is on the couch, too, Kasey gets territorial.  Of course!  Every member of the pack should understand that.  When you are in the pack, you want to be next to the Leader.

For some reason, the old boring guy doesn’t get this.  I’m not sure why.  He’s just a little bit slow, I guess.  But when the old boring guy comes up to Kasey and when she and the Leader are on the couch, Kasey bares her teeth and gives a low growl.  It’s just a little warning that the old boring guy should keep his distance.  Then, he finally gets the message and yanks his hand back like he is trying to avoid a snake bite.

I get a good laugh when that happens.  Hey, old boring guy!  Guess what?  You’re at the bottom of the pack.  There’s the Leader, there’s me and Kasey, there’s Young Master and the Wrestler, and then there’s . . . you.  Get used to it!

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , on December 7, 2012 | 3 Comments »

My name is Penny.

DSC04213I’m always hungry. Kasey is, too.  The old boring guy never gives us enough food, though, so Kasey and I are always on the lookout for more.  When it comes to getting more food, Kasey and I make a pretty good team.

We wait until the Leader and the old boring guy aren’t around.  I’m taller, so I’ll stretch up onto the counter and try to pull things down.  Kasey can jump up onto tables where I can’t get, and when she does she’ll knock down anything tasty up there.  Kasey’s little paws and teeth are good at getting into plastic packages, too.

Lately we’ve had a lot of luck.  We ate a bag of bread, a bowl of grapes, and some hard shriveled grapes.  I didn’t like the shriveled grapes, so I barfed them up and the old boring guy found it.  Ha, ha!  Tough luck, old boring guy!  Kasey and I both thought that was funny.

It’s been good times since Kasey has joined the pack.  I’m still hungry, though, so today we will go hunting again.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , on November 21, 2012 | 1 Comment »

My name is Penny.

A while ago, fake dogs became part of our pack.  They stay in front of our house.  That’s a good thing, because they really give me the creeps.

One of the fake dogs sits by our front door.  Kasey and I call him Red Eye.  When I first saw him, I gave him a good sniff.  He has no dog smell.  He smells the same as a rock or a tree or a fence.  And he’s always staring, with beady red eyes and his mouth open and his pink tongue hanging out and a dopey expression on his face.  He’s got on a dumb collar, too.  I guess he’s just supposed to look like a really stupid dog.  I don’t think he’s fooling anyone, except maybe for the looking stupid part.

Kasey doesn’t like the stupid fake dog.  She thinks it’s weird.  When we get back from a walk with the old boring guy, Kasey always stays as far away from the fake dog as she can.  Then she scratches at the door to get inside fast.

The other fake is just part of a dog.  Kasey and I call him Dog Butt.  It’s just a butt and a tail, sticking out of the plants in front of the house.  The butt never moves, and the tail never wags.  And even though everyone knows that the tail section is the best smelling part of any dog, this fake dog has no dog smell, either.  How can that be?  A dog’s butt with no smell is as disappointing as a food bowl with no food.

I feel sorry for Dog Butt.  Now, when I go outside, I always go to the bathroom next to Dog Butt.  I figure I might as well contribute a little of the dog smell that other dogs will expect when they see a dog butt in the air.

No need to thank me, Dog Butt!  Any dog would do the same.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Penny, tagged , , , on November 3, 2012 | 1 Comment »

My name is Penny.

When Kasey and I are left alone and it gets dark, I want to smell the Leader.  I feel better when I smell the Leader, so I look for things that have the Leader’s smell.  Usually I have to go to a special place.  I push it open with my nose, then I use my teeth to grab on to something that has the Leader’s smell.  I pull as hard as I can, and it falls down.  Sometimes other things fall down, too.

Then I drag it over to my spot and lie down on it.  I smell the Leader’s smell, and I feel better.

When the Leader and the old boring guy come back, the old boring guy always gets mad when he sees what I have done.  I think he’s mad that I always want to smell the Leader’s smell, and not his smell.  Sorry, old boring guy!  I guess I just don’t like your smell.   Ha ha!

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , on August 5, 2012 | 1 Comment »

My name is Penny.

The old boring guy is getting on my nerves.  It’s hot outside.  Everyone knows it.  When Kasey and I go outside, we want to take care of business and come right back.  The Leader knows this.  But the old boring guy won’t let us!  No, he has to take us on a walk, and he won’t even let us stop whenever we want to sniff interesting smells along the way.  Instead, he walks ahead and we have to trot just to keep up with him.

Hey, old boring guy!  See the brown stuff on my skin?  It’s called fur!  It’s great when it’s cold, but when it’s hot out it makes me hot, too.  Can you cut us some slack on these long walks through the heat?

When I come back from one of those walks on a hot day, I find a shady spot on the wooden floor and stretch out so that as much of my body as possible is touching the cool wood.  And because I’m in the shadow I hope the old boring guy doesn’t see me and leaves me alone for a while.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , on March 28, 2012 | Leave a Comment »

My name is Penny.

Every morning the old boring guy and Kasey and I go for our walk.  When that happens, Kasey runs all over the place.  She’ll go take a sniff by that tree, then race across the path to take a good whiff of a fire hydrant.  Of course, I can’t blame her for enjoying the great smells.

The problem is when Kasey goes behind me, and then races around in front of me.  When that happens, her blue leash usually gets stuck under my tail.  It ends up in a tender spot, if you catch my drift.  The movement of the leash across my rump really chafes back there, and I don’t like it.  When that happens, I do a dead stop until the old boring guy takes the leash from under my tail.

Other than that, I’m getting used to Kasey.  She’s not bad to have around.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , on March 11, 2012 | Leave a Comment »

My name is Penny.

What’s with this new member of the pack?

She’s not even housebroken.  I’m not kidding!  I walk around the house during the day, and find her accidents.  It’s embarrassing to any self-respecting dog.

I’m hoping Kasey gets with the program here.  Otherwise, the old boring guy is always going to be in a grumpy mood.  That’s not good for Kasey, or for me!

And another thing.  Kasey has a pretty good nose on her.  She can sniff out lots of interesting smells.  When I catch up, I always enjoy them, too.  But then she is off to do something else after only one good whiff.  She doesn’t fully explore the nuances of the odors.  She obviously doesn’t have an educated sense of smell, either.  That’s sad, too.

Hey Kasey: take time to stop and smell the roses!  Or the interesting territorial markings left left by another dog, as the case may be.

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