UJ is down in Key West, where the sun is warm and the rum drinks are cold.
C’mon, UJ! I haven’t been on a spring break trip to Florida in years. How about a report from the sunny south?
What’s that warm sand feel like? What about the hot sunshine on your skin, and the feel of a cold, beaded glass of Captain Morgan’s and Coke in your hand? And those bright rays on your sunglasses, and a languid scent of cocoa butter suntan lotion on the skin, and the gentle breezes of the Caribbean ruffling the canopy of the beach umbrella?
I’m working this week, but that doesn’t mean I can’t live vicariously through some Webner House posts.
America is a land of stressed-out worriers. We lose sleep over the latest epidemics and health scares, over diseases like SARS and bird flu, and over chemicals in our food and horsemeat in our tacos. We fret about gun-toting nuts charging into schools or gunning down innocent theatergoers and about rogue police officers on random killing sprees. We agonize about the prevalence of sexual predators and other sickos who might kidnap or molest our children. We brood about the bad economy, and whether we can keep our jobs, and whether the college graduates in our families will be able to even get a job in the first place.
I sat in the window seat on our flight from Antigua to Miami. As we approached Florida, where the plane’s altitude allowed us to see the arc of the world, I was treated to a spectacular, fiery sunset behind the clouds on the western horizon.
States have been called as predicted, and other states — those damnable “Battleground States,” like Florida and Virginia and oh-so-fickle Ohio, that swing from party to party from election to election and delight in confounding the experts — are too close to call.
The case arose when the man failed to wish his wife a happy birthday. They got into a fight, and she says he pushed her against a sofa and grabbed her neck. The judge noted that the husband had no record and concluded the incident was “very , very minor.” So, rather than setting a bond or requiring jail time, the judge ordered the husband to buy flowers and added, “then he’s going to go home, pick up his wife, get dressed, take her to Red Lobster. And then after they have Red Lobster, they’re going to go bowling.” The couple also will be required to get counseling.
In any case, the sentence seems ill-advised on other grounds. For example, why would you order a husband who has been accused of domestic violence to stoke up on fried foods at Red Lobster and then take his wife to a place where the guy will be provided with 16-pound projectiles and expected to hurl them with as much force as he can muster?
Santorum and Paul got clobbered in Florida. 
It’s silly to be voting in January, 10 months before the actual election. No rational person would want to front-load the process because it increases the risk that a flukey candidate might get on a roll and knock everyone out of the race, only to be exposed months later as a hapless lightweight who isn’t ready for prime time. Rick Perry’s recent bumbling, fumbling, stumbling performance at a Florida debate aptly demonstrates why it makes sense to draw out the process, to give the candidates the chance to mature and to give the public a reasonable amount of time to get to know who they’re voting for.
In recent years Big Ten fans have paid careful attention to the conference’s bowl record. They feel like the Big Ten is disrespected on the national level, particularly in comparison to the SEC. (I regret to say that Ohio State is responsible for a lot of this perception. The Buckeyes are one of the Big Ten’s flagship programs, and they have never beaten an SEC team in a bowl game. That record unfortunately includes two national championship game losses.) Bowl games are supposed to be fun, but for the Big Ten they are serious business, and not just because they produce significant revenue for the member schools. Big Ten fans want everyone to recognize what they believe to be true — that the Big Ten is the best conference in the country, with the biggest stadiums, the richest traditions, the greatest rivalries, and the most dedicated fans. If you want to exercise such bragging rights, however, you have to earn them on the field.
This year the Big Ten has gotten off to a good start in bowl season. It is 2-0, with Illinois and Iowa both posting bowl wins. Today will tell the tale, however, particularly since three of the bowl games match up the Big Ten and the SEC. Each of the games, moreover, poses intriguing questions and matchups. How will Northwestern perform without their fine quarterback, Dan Persa, and will it be able to win its first bowl game since the Truman Administration? Can Michigan State put a signature win over the defending national champions as a capstone on a break-through season that has seen the Spartans win 11 games? How will Michigan’s Denard Robinson fare against the Bulldogs, and can the beleaguered Michigan defense keep the Wolverines in the game? And which Penn State and Florida teams will show up for the Outback Bowl?
The first half was entertaining. Ohio State played well on offense but was soft on defense, and Florida took advantage. It seemed like every Florida player made a hook shot from the low post, and Florida ended the half ahead 41-38. The second half was a different story, and the story started on defense. Ohio State pressured the ball and stepped out on Florida players all over the court. The Buckeyes forced some turnovers, and then put on a clinic on offense. Jared Sullinger and David Lighty sliced up the Gators down low, and William Buford, Jon Diebler, and Aaron Craft knocked down open shots. In all, Ohio State scored 55 points — 55 points! — in the second half and notched a very memorable win.
