My name is Penny.
Kasey likes the couch. During the day, that’s where she’ll be. At night, that’s where she’ll be. That’s always where she is, except when she’s eating.
When the Leader is on the couch, too, Kasey gets territorial. Of course! Every member of the pack should understand that. When you are in the pack, you want to be next to the Leader.
For some reason, the old boring guy doesn’t get this. I’m not sure why. He’s just a little bit slow, I guess. But when the old boring guy comes up to Kasey and when she and the Leader are on the couch, Kasey bares her teeth and gives a low growl. It’s just a little warning that the old boring guy should keep his distance. Then, he finally gets the message and yanks his hand back like he is trying to avoid a snake bite.
I get a good laugh when that happens. Hey, old boring guy! Guess what? You’re at the bottom of the pack. There’s the Leader, there’s me and Kasey, there’s Young Master and the Wrestler, and then there’s . . . you. Get used to it!
How do dogs maintain the same zeal for eating when they consume the same food, served in the same bowl, morning and night, day after day after day? Imagine if you were required to eat the same bowl of kibble, moistened to form a limp, fake quasi-gravy, and needed to shove your head into the wet food in order to chow it down. No rational person would tolerate, much less want, such a diet. We don’t even feed death row prisoners the same food, day after day.
The problem is the purpose of the small plastic bag. It’s supposed to fit over your hand. Then, you use it to pick up your dog’s fragrant deposits in public areas, reverse the bag and tie it off, and then toss it in a disposal container. So, if there is tear in the bag, when you use it for its intended purpose unfortunate and disgusting consequences involving your dominant hand inevitably will ensue. Fortunately, I noticed the rip when I inserted my hand — but if I hadn’t I’d be permanently scarred and unwilling to ever do the dog owners’ doo-doo duty in the future.
I’m always hungry. Kasey is, too. The old boring guy never gives us enough food, though, so Kasey and I are always on the lookout for more. When it comes to getting more food, Kasey and I make a pretty good team.
The surgical procedure involves cutting the dog’s vocal cords. The dog tries to bark, but little sound is produced. Because the vocal cords can reconnect as scar tissue forms, allowing the dog to again produce sound, some owners have their dogs undergo multiple surgeries.
