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Posts Tagged ‘Dogs’

The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , , , on May 15, 2013 | 1 Comment »

My name is Penny.

IMG_1230I have fur.  It’s just the way I am.

Today, the Leader took me outside.  That made me happy.  But then the Leader took out the brush.

I hate the brush.  The Leader uses it on my fur, and the fur comes off and flies through the air like snow.  It makes me sad to see that fur on the ground.  It was part of me, and now it’s gone.  And the brush is only used on me!  Kasey never gets the brush.  The old boring guy never gets the brush, either.

I know the Leader knows what she is doing.  I trust her.  I know she is using the brush because she thinks it is good for me.  I just don’t know why.

After the Leader was done brushing, we went for a walk.  It was a warm day, but suddenly I felt a nice breeze.

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Kasey’s Crave

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Photography, tagged , , , , on May 7, 2013 | 1 Comment »

IMG_1220Sometimes you learn weird things about your dog.  This week we learned that Kasey can’t resist dandelion puffballs — those round weed tops that kids pluck and blow on, scattering the grey fragments to the wind.

Kasey acts like they are lollipops, or maybe some kind of rodent.  She snaps at them with gusto and would happily devour an entire field if we let her run amok.  Why is this so?  Beats me!  Maybe Kasey was frightened by a puffball as a young pup.  Or maybe puffballs have some kind of delicate flavor that renders them irresistible.  Or, most likely, Kasey’s eyesight so bad that a waving grey puffball looks like easy prey.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , , , on May 2, 2013 | 1 Comment »

My name is Penny.

During the day, when the Leader is gone, I look out the window so I can run to the door when the Leader gets back.  Sometimes, though, looking out the window makes me mad.

It happens when this cat comes into our yard.  Oh, I hate that cat!  It comes prancing into our yard like it owns the place.  Kasey and I bark and bark, but the cat keeps coming.  It will walk right up, look at me, and stretch out and show its claws.  I bark even louder when the cat does that, but I can’t get outside to chase it.

I bet that cat smells bad.  I bet it smells really bad.  Ha, ha!  Hey, cat, you stink!

Boy, I really hate that cat.

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When Animals Attack — Or Not

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Penny, TV, tagged , , , , , on April 30, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

When Animals Attack! featured footage of animals attacking humans.  Of course, animals can “attack” in different ways.

IMG_0907I doubt if Penny would intentionally attack anyone in the conventional sense.  That would be unseemly and require too much exertion.

Nevertheless, Penny still is a key component of our household defense system.  If an intruder invaded our hearth and home, he could easily be disabled by tripping over Penny’s snoring body stretched out on the kitchen floor.  As is the case with any natural predator, her brown coat blends seamlessly with the color of our wood flooring, making her an even greater hazard for the unwary housebreaker.

Or, the miscreant could pull a muscle or throw out his back trying to move Penny’s dead weight from her prone position.

Or, if the trespasser had any scrap of food on his person, Penny might inadvertently knock him down in her single-minded quest to fill her belly.

Some people have dogs that growl and bite.  We have a dog that sleeps.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Humor, tagged , , , , , on April 23, 2013 | 1 Comment »

My name is Penny.

IMG_3645I am usually hungry.  When I am hungry, I look for food.  When I see something that looks like food, I take it.

Yesterday my hunting turned up a promising item.  It was brown, which is a good color for food.  My food in the morning and night is brown.  And it was in one of those shiny wrappers.  Usually those shiny wrappers are put on good food.  I’ve seen the old boring guy put this kind of thing in his mouth, too.  So when I saw it on the counter, so I grabbed it.

When I bit it though, it wasn’t good food.  It was dry and dusty and crumbled against my teeth.  It tasted bitter, too.  Yuck!  So even though I was hungry, I didn’t eat it.  That should tell you something about how bad it tasted.  That’s the last time I ever take the old boring guy’s recommendation!

When the old boring guy got home and saw the brown thing, he was mad.  I don’t know why.  I left it for him, didn’t I?

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Bunny Under The Bush

Posted in Dogs, Kasey, Penny, Photography, tagged , , , , on April 21, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

IMG_3641When Kish and I got home this afternoon, I discovered a large, very plump rabbit sitting underneath one of the bushes around our patio.  It sat there, basking in the bright sunshine and munching on something, apparently unconcerned that it was out in the open and exposed.  It sat there for at least a half hour, shifting position from time to time, before it finally hopped away. 

The fact that Kasey and Penny weren’t home might help explain the rabbit’s curious behavior.

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My Front Yard Has Mange

Posted in Dogs, Family, Humor, tagged , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2013 | 2 Comments »

During the cold, dank, seemingly endless winter, forces of evil apparently attacked my yard.  Under cover of darkness and blanket of snow, terrible lawn creatures invaded and ruthlessly displaced our attractive carpet of velvety grass.

IMG_1171Spring has brought the unwelcome realization that our front yard appears to have a serious case of lawn mange.  Where tender shoots of pleasant green once grew we now find bare spots, crab grass, spreading sawtoothed dandelion leaves, and other unsightly, weedy characters.  The yard has a distinctly clumpy, uneven look to it.  And in the center of one of our lawn sections there is an angry-looking, purple-topped plant that appears to be the youthful version of the man-devouring miscreant from Little Shop of Horrors.

Having an ugly spring lawn is embarrassing, but it can have its advantages.  Dogs find our yard so appalling that they refuse to even answer the call of nature there.  Rabbits treat our property like a death zone.  And the lawn undoubtedly will increase our interaction with our neighbors, because if things don’t take a turn for the better we can expect a friendly visit from the Civic Association.

It’s time to call the lawn service and encourage them to move immediately to the nuclear option.

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Back Yard Bitches

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, weather, tagged , , , , , on April 7, 2013 | 1 Comment »

IMG_3490It was a beautiful day in New Albany today — bright and sunny, with the temperature reaching the mid-70s.  The lure of the patio and the back yard was irresistible to me, and to Penny and Kasey as well.  They enjoyed the chance to gambol in the grass and squint into the brightness, and I liked sitting out on the patio, doing some work and feeling the breeze ruffle my hair.

It felt good to get out into the sunshine and expose that white, dry skin to the sunshine.  As for the questionable headline for this posting — well, I like alliteration, and technically the description is accurate.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , on March 24, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

My name is Penny.

IMG_3433When I wake up in the morning, I am hungry and want to eat.  I mean, right away.  Why not?  I am hungry!

Usually, that is not a problem.  The old boring guy gets up early, feeds me and Kasey, and then takes us on a long, boring walk.  The boring walk with the old boring guy is the price we pay for a full belly.

Sometimes the old boring guy doesn’t get up early.  I’m not sure why.  On those days, I have to wake him up to get my food.  So, I use the flap.  The flap is when I twirl my head very fast.  When I do that, my ears flap against my head and make a slapping sound, and my collar jingles.  If one flap doesn’t work, I do it again.  And again.  And again.  Then Kasey will do the flap, too. No one can sleep for long when two dogs are doing the flap!

We’ll keep doing the flap until the old boring guy gets up and gives us our food.  Sorry, old boring guy!  Time to rise and shine, because we are hungry!

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Batching It

Posted in Dogs, Family, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , , , , on February 20, 2013 | 2 Comments »

My lovely wife is out of town for a few days, down visiting a friend in Florida.  So, I’m back to being a bachelor temporarily, and “batching it” kind of sucks.

IMG_3166The house seems awfully big and empty and quiet without Kish here.  Her absence disrupts our settled rhythms and routines in countless ways.  When I get home from work at night, I find two very hungry and impatient dogs who normally would have eaten several hours earlier.  They demand to be fed immediately and walked so they can give their bladders and intestinal systems some relief.  Without someone to sit down and converse with, my dinner becomes a sporadic, nibbling affair that typically extends over the course of 90 minutes and involves the standing consumption of a cup of cereal as one of the “courses.”

I find myself puttering around at night, straightening up, so the house will look nice when Kish gets home.  When I finally sit down to watch some TV, Penny and Kasey sit and stare at me where they used to stare at her.  Even worse, I find myself talking to them from time to time.  (They don’t answer — yet.)  And I sleep poorly, without the gentle sound of Kish’s breathing to lull me into slumber.

Don’t get me wrong:  I want Kish to have fun, and I’m happy when she takes trips and visits her friends and spends some time in warmer climates.  She deserves it.  But I miss her when she’s gone, and I’ll be happy when she returns and once more warms the house with her presence.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , , on February 19, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

My name is Penny.

That’s my real name, bIMG_3161ut sometimes the other members of my pack call me “Lugnut.”  I’m not sure what means, but if the Leader says it and gives me a hug it must be a good name to have.

I think “Lugnut” must mean a dog just like me.  It must mean a dog who likes to slurp cool water from the water bowl when she’s thirsty.  A dog who likes to look out the window and bark when strangers walk by.  A dog who likes to snooze in the sunshine and snuggle next to the Leader whenever she can.  A dog who likes to explore the world outside and smell its interesting smells.  A dog who likes to eat and expects to be fed when she’s hungry.

“Lugnut” must mean a dog who takes her time and enjoys the finer things in life.  If that’s what “Lugnut” means, then I think it’s a good name for me.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, weather, tagged , , , , , on February 9, 2013 | 3 Comments »

My name is Penny.

IMG_1922It was raining yesterday morning when the old boring guy took us for a walk.  I mean, really raining.  The kind of rain that soaks through your fur and bounces off the ground, too.  Kasey and I looked outside and didn’t want to go.  But the old boring guy tugged and tugged, and off we went.

Why would anyone want to walk in rain?  Why would anyone want to get all wet, and muddy, and cold?

I thought maybe the old boring guy didn’t notice it was raining, so I stopped cold.  That made the old boring guy notice, because he almost fell down.  He got mad and pulled me forward.  I walked a ways, then stopped again.  Ha, ha!  He can make me walk in rain, but I don’t have to like it.

Then Kasey got into the act.  While the old boring guy was bending over to pick up poop — why does he do that, anyway? — she ran behind him and tied him up.  He had to drop this thing he was carrying to keep the rain off.  He got all wet, and that made him even madder. At least he knew it was raining.

But even though the old boring guy knew it was raining, he made us keep walking.  When I finally got home, I was covered in water and mud.  It was no fun, and then the old boring guy had to clean me off — which also made him mad.

Hey, old boring guy!  Kasey and I think if you don’t want to get mad, you shouldn’t walk us in the rain!

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Penny, tagged , , , , , on January 29, 2013 | 3 Comments »

My name is Penny.

Yesterday I was bad, but I don’t care.

IMG_3018While the Leader was away, I found her boot.  I love that boot.  It smells like the Leader’s foot.  It has fur on the inside, and it’s chewy on the outside.  I’ve smelled it before, but I’ve never chewed it because the Leader takes it away.

This time, the Leader wasn’t there.  So, I sat down and began to chew.  When my tooth finally sank through the leathery outside into the fur, it was like heaven!  When I ripped a piece off the boot, it was even better.  I chewed and tugged, and chewed and tugged, and kept pulling off little pieces of boot.  They all smelled great, because they smelled like the Leader.  After a while, there was a pile of boot pieces.

Then, the Leader came home.  She saw what I did, and she acted mad.  Deep down, though, I know she wasn’t really mad.  She understood that I needed to chew that boot.  That’s why she’s such a great Leader.

I don’t care about the old boring guy’s shoes.

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Cold Dogs

Posted in Dogs, Family, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , on January 27, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

IMG_3013Penny and Kasey like our morning walks on cold, snowy days.  At least, I think they do.  They romp in the snow and stick their noses deep into the tracks left behind by other dogs and dig through the snowbanks looking for buried treasure — the remnants of a sandwich, say, left behind by some youngster.  They pull in opposite directions and find countless objects that evidently are deserving of careful examination and some deep, snout-rattling sniffs.

But when we get back to our front door, with their coats and muzzles snow-dusted and icy, they seem awfully eager to get back inside.

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The Penny Chronicles

Posted in Dogs, Humor, Kasey, Penny, tagged , , , , , , on January 21, 2013 | 2 Comments »

My name is Penny.

IMG_0575I like having Kasey around the house.  She keeps things interesting, and she keeps the old boring guy on his toes.  But, there’s something about her that is very embarrassing.  It’s almost too embarrassing to even talk about.

Kasey joined the pack only a while ago.  I’m not sure what kind of upbringing she had.  I don’t think she learned much about refinement or how to behave in polite canine society.  She’s probably a country dog, and she just isn’t very sophisticated.

When I first saw Kasey do it, I was shocked.  I hoped that she wouldn’t do it again, but then she did, again and again.  Then I hoped that no one would notice.  But the other day Young Master was taking us for a walk, and he saw Kasey do it.  He was disgusted, and I don’t blame him.

You see, Kasey eats . . . dog poop.

Can you imagine!  How embarrassing!  Every self-respecting dog knows you roll in poop, not eat it!  I guess I’m going to have to teach her some manners.

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