Surprisingly, the Cleveland Browns won’t be competing in the NFL playoffs this year. Instead, the other three teams in the Browns’ division — the Baltimore Ravens, the Cincinnati Bengals, and the Pittsburgh Steelers — will be vying for the coveted division title and playoff spots. These three teams are division rivals we play twice a year, so we hate all of them. But a legitimate question for Browns fans is: which of these teams do I hate the most? For me, the answer is easy.
It’s not the Bengals. Sure, the upstart Cincinnati team shares the same state and stole the Browns’ colors when the Bengals franchise starts more than 40 years ago, but to be honest the Bengals really aren’t worthy of being despised. For much of their history, the Bengals have been even more inept than the Browns, and that’s saying something. Sure, the Bengals have been to two Super Bowls and the Browns have never been to even one (sob!), but the Bengals always come across as pass-happy, gimmicky glory boys rather than tough guys willing to slug it out in the AFC’s most rugged division. The fact that the Bengals fans consist largely of front-runners who don’t bother with going to games when the team stinks makes the Bengals more worthy of contempt than hatred.
It’s not the Steelers, either. You’d think Browns fans would hate the Steelers with every fiber of their being, given the Steelers’ many Super Bowl wins. Many Browns fans give the pretense of hating the Steelers — but scratch that outward enmity and underneath you’re likely to find a deep reservoir of grudging respect. It’s hard to hate those whom you’d like to emulate. Browns fans want the Browns to be the Steelers, because in the ’40s, ’50s, and ’60s the Browns were the Steelers — they were the stable franchise, well managed and thoughtfully run, that found great players, ran a great scheme, and regularly appeared in championship games and brought banners back to Municipal Stadium. The Steelers stole that mantle in the ’70s and have kept it since, and the Browns fans want it back. In the meantime, we’ll secretly root for the Steelers because we all feel that they play football the way it should be played.
That leaves the Ravens, and they are truly the team that I hate the most. I hate them because, of course, they used to be the Browns, before the despicable Art Modell took the team away from the city and the fans that loved it — all for the sake of money. I hate them because their new name sucks, they’ve had success in Baltimore, and they’ve won a Super Bowl that should rightfully have been Cleveland’s. I hate their loudmouth, show-boating players who mug for the cameras and have forsaken the quiet classiness that used to define professional athletes. The Ravens’ consistent winning ways confirms that no benevolent, sports-loving deity intervenes in games to reward goodness or promote fairness; instead, only capricious and mean-spirited gods could possibly favor the awful Ravens. I despise the Ravens, and I rail at the fates that conspire to put them in the playoffs year after year, while the Browns wallow in seasons of embarrassment, failure, and futility.
We Browns fans have seen this before — and not just because, 
In 12 years, the Browns have won their season opener precisely once — beating Baltimore 20-3 in 2004. In the other years, they’ve lost in every conceivable way. They’ve lost to good teams and bad teams. They’ve gotten creamed and they’ve lost 9-6 defensive battles. They even lost when 
With Mike Holmgren fully at the helm of the franchise, a new head coach in Pat Shurmur and a new coaching staff, new offensive and defensive schemes, exciting players like Peyton Hillis, Colt McCoy, and Josh Cribbs, and a roster stocked with younger players, it is time for the Browns to start slaying the ghosts and demons that have tormented this star-crossed franchise since its return to the league. It can be done. For years, the Browns could not win at Three Rivers Stadium — until suddenly, under Marty Schottenheimer and Bernie Kosar, they could. On Sunday, it is time for this Browns team, too, to start turning things around.
As disappointing as the Browns’ season has been, the Bengals’ has been disastrous. Their fans thought the Bengals would be a playoff team and perhaps a Super Bowl contender. Instead, they are awful. At 2-11, the Bengals have the worst record in the AFC. They’ve lost 10 games in a row, their offense is mediocre, their running game is terrible, and their defense has given up yards and points by the truckload. The team is riddled with dissension, and the bland head coach, Marvin Lewis, presumably is on his way out at the end of the year.
Secretly, every Browns fan is not surprised by what has happened to the Bengals this year. Most Browns fans have always viewed the Bengals as the gloryhound flyboys who lack the character and toughness to win. When challenges arise, they fold up and then start fighting amongst themselves. Cleveland fans like traditional football, where a solid running game and a tough defense are the foundations for success. The Bengals always seem to go for easy yards through the air and offensive gimmicks — Sam Wyche was famous for them — and they haven’t fielded a strong defense for decades. Even worse, their fans are of the fair-weather variety, which is why tomorrow’s game isn’t a sellout.
This is the time of the NFL season where some teams are still in it, and some teams are out of it. The Browns and the Panthers are in the latter category. Some teams in the “out of it” category just quit. Our neighbors to the south, the Cincinnati Bengals, are a good example. The Bengals started the season with high hopes and have been putrid. The team appears to be riddled with dissension, the coach is on his way out, and the players look like they have given up. If I were a Bengals fan, I would be furious and embarrassed.
We shouldn’t get carried away with yesterday’s result. After all, the Browns are 1-3. From what I’ve seen of their games this year — and the Columbus CBS affiliate has twice shown the Bengals rather than the Browns when their games have aired at the same time — the Browns aren’t going to score points in bunches, and they are prone to getting burned through the air. Even more irritating, they seem to commit dumb penalties at key points in the game, like yesterday’s unnecessary roughness infraction that allowed Cincinnati to get a late TD. Still, a win is a win.
