The soldier, winded and hunched, ran the last few yards before leaping into the Foxhole that had been dug behind the carcass of Big Bird. “Sergeant Jones, I’ve got bad news,” he said. “I think we’ve lost Nesser.”
“Dammit! What happened, Private Ujay?”
“He was trying to weave through that field of empty chairs when he was knocked down by a fusillade of negative TV ads. He wasn’t wearing his ear plugs or a gas mask, and he started retching after hearing about the President’s economic record. The last I saw of him, he was being dragged away by a team of pollsters to participate in a focus group.”
“What the hell! I’ve told everyone that they need to keep the masks on, because the noise and poisonous messages are more than any man can bear.“
“He said he wanted to breathe free and watch the Buckeyes game on TV, sir.”
“Well, there’s no saving the poor bastard now,” Sergeant Jones said. She peered over Big Bird’s soiled yellow feathers, scanning the terrain. “Get down!” she barked, as a fusillade of binders full of women rained down.
“I’ve got more bad news, sir,” Ujay reported. “Some of the members of the platoon are saying there’s nothing to worry about and no need to get ready for the next attack.”
“Blast! Didn’t they watch that first presidential debate and see what happens when you start to take things for granted?“
Another soldier appeared and saluted. “Message from Captain Duhamel, sir. He says the Bain Capital Brigade is approaching from the east. He thinks they’re hoping to outsource us all to China.”
“Thanks for the warning, Private Jeff — but we all know that those briefcase-carrying Bain bastards are ruthless. They’ll stop at nothing once they’ve decided to downsize.” The sergeant paused for a moment. “Well, we know that we don’t have enough horses and bayonets to make a stand here. Time to move out.“
“But Sarge — if we move we’ll lose the cover we’ve got here in this Foxhole.”
“You didn’t build that, Mack! Now move!“
The bedraggled platoon scrambled out of the Foxhole, past the hulk of Big Bird. Nearby, hordes of “ground game” campaign workers were dragging reluctant Ohioans to the polls for a final day of early voting. A black motorcade barreled past, hurling campaign literature about a five-point plan at passersby trying to dodge the Obama volunteers talking about how a 7.9 percent unemployment rate means the economy is on the road to recovery. A crowd of “campaign surrogates” traded punches on a street corner, and a phalanx of Jeeps carrying members of the 47 Percent Regiment were advancing from the west. Overhead, the voices of pundits filled the air, raining invective and talking points on the few remaining civilians not under cover. And Bill Clinton and David Axelrod were spinning like tops, knocking people down as Joe Biden’s Cheshire Cat grin blinded the soldiers and his maniacal laugh echoed off the downtown office buildings.
“My God! It’s carnage,” Private Ujay shouted, as he ran after Sergeant Jones. “We’ll never survive this, never!”
“Yes we will,” Sergeant Jones bellowed. “We’ve done it before, and we’ll do it again. It’s what you get when you live in Battleground Ohio.”
It’s a bit jarring to hear people defending a venture capital firm — the kind of educated risk-taking business that is crucial in a capitalist economy, but which is so easily depicted as a blood-sucking, money-grubbing blight on society — and speaking so openly about the Mormon faith, because these aren’t the kind of things you normally see on TV. I think it’s been refreshing, and effective, to hear from these average folks, talking about a man they know and like and appreciate.
Restaurant Impossible is a good example. Each episode, 
Capitalism is a messy system. Businesses, large and small, routinely fail. Some never succeed. Some businesses — think buggy whip manufacturers or, more recently, Kodak — succeed at first, then fail. The owner may just be a bad businessman. Customers may change their preferences. New competitors may enter the market at lower prices or with better products. The business may be slow to react to important societal changes or technological developments. The list of potential reasons for business failure is about as long as the human imagination is capable of making it.
If you accept that businesses routinely fail in a capitalistic system, how do you assess the contribution of a firm like Bain Capital? Do you criticize them for swooping in and trying to make a good deal for their investors — much like shoppers search for good sales or good bargains — because that may mean that some employees of the struggling business might lose their jobs as a result? Do you focus on the instances where they are unsuccessful in turning around the failing company? Or, do you look at the successful turnarounds, commend them for their ability to pick a winner and for the profits they have generated for investors, and recognize that the remaining employees of the now-thriving company might all be out of work if Bain Capital or similar firms hadn’t made their investment in the first place?
