Posted in Humor, Ohio, weather, tagged Derechos, Humor, John Wayne, Ohio, Summer Thunderstorms, Taco Bell, The Sons of Katie Elder, weather on July 26, 2012 |
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Until a month ago, when severe thunderstorms and strong wind gusts devastated electric power service to most of Columbus, I’d never heard of a “derecho.”
It turns out that a derecho is a line of thunderstorms that produces widespread, damaging “straight line” winds. Today, when another black, gusty thunderstorm cell rolled through town, people were talking about derechos again. (Whether Columbusites are pronouncing the word correctly is another question.)
Isn’t it kind of late in human history to be coming up with new names for weather? I’ve lived in the Midwest for most of my life, and severe thunderstorms are not uncommon during the summer months. Until now, they’ve just been called severe thunderstorms, which seems like a more than adequate descriptive phrase. Why not stick with that, rather than coming up with an unpronounceable, unknown term?
And while we’re at it, why do new weather systems always get Spanish-sounding names? First El Nino, then La Nina, now derecho. It sounds like the name of John Wayne’s ranch in The Sons of Katie Elder, or perhaps the moniker for a new Taco Bell faux Mexican concoction. A derecho probably would involve browned meat, smoked bacon, Velveeta cheese, habanero sauce, and ranch dressing, sprinkled with crushed Doritos and wrapped in a soft taco shell.
No doubt some college student would drive hundreds of miles, through countless severe thunderstorm cells, to give it a try.
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Posted in America, Humor, Ohio, Politics, tagged America, Auto Bailout, Bush Tax Cuts, Chevy Volt, Congress, Democrats, General Motors, GM, Humor, Ohio, Politics, President Obama, Republicans, Sherrod Brown, taxes, Treasury Department on July 26, 2012 |
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Hello, Mr. Webner. It’s one of your friendly securities analysts at the Treasury Department. Hot enough for you? Ha, ha!
What? Oh, no!
Yes, Mr. Webner. It’s me again. Time for you to get another update on that GM investment. This time, I’ve got good news and bad news. Which would you rather hear first?
The bad news, I suppose.
Well, I’m sorry to say that GM’s stock price has hit another new low. GM has lost more than one-third of its market value since it went public less than two years ago. We’re shocked. We thought those great commercials with likable folks talking about how smart they were to buy Chevy Volts would really cause a boom in sales.
So, how much have we lost?
Between the plummeting value of our GM stock and the tax breaks we’ve given the company to try to help it recover from decades of mismanagement, bad decisions, and short-sighted labor contracts, we’re out $35 billion.
$35 billion?!?! But I thought my Senator was boasting about what a smart move it was to bail out GM?
He’s saying it saved jobs, Mr. Webner. They just happen to be jobs that have been heavily subsidized by your tax dollars.
Wait — you said you had bad news and good news. What’s the good news?
Oh, yes! Right now, it looks like President Obama, the Democrat-controlled Senate, and the Republican-controlled House won’t be able to agree on an extension of the Bush era tax cuts. So, after the end of the year everyone’s taxes will probably increase, and we’ll have even more of your money to invest!
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