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Archive for June 19th, 2012

Richard is home for a very welcome visit, and after a nice dinner we spent the first night on our backyard patio, catching up.

What a pleasant time it was!  Sitting outside on a warm, quiet summer evening, talking and sipping on cold beer and puffing on cigars as fragrant smoke rises into the air.  Penny and Kasey lolling in the yard, sprawled on the cool lawn and nosing through the grass.  Dogs barking in the suburban distance and fireflies flickering in the gathering dusk.  The Who, then Marvin Gaye, then Lynyrd Skynyrd playing on the iPod speaker system.  And far above the trees and bushes framing the back yard, the sky grows progressively darker until the Milky Way is distinctly visible directly overhead and it is time to call it a night.

This is why Americans want to own their own home.  It is very special to have a place you and your family can truly call your own.

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Big Bro B-Day

Today is the birthday of my big brother, UJ.  Born in ’56, he turns 56 today, so there is a certain symmetry to the occasion.

Some of you may wonder how UJ celebrates his birthdays.  After all, how do you properly commemorate a special day like a birthday when you already seem to spend much of your time tanned and shirtless in some exotic warm weather location, gambling and getting kissed on the cheek by a woman in a bikini — and occasionally holding some form of shellfish with your head apparently framed by a halo, besides?

I don’t quite know how to answer that question.  All I can do is wish my big brother a very happy birthday, and invite the other loyal readers of the Webner House blog to join me in conveying heartfelt natal day wishes.

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These are the times that try yard owners’ souls.

Every summer a point arrives at which your yard begins to teeter on the edge of browning out.  In Columbus, that point is here.  You know it is coming when there are days of high heat and blazing sunshine and no rain, when the grass at the nearby park or playground turns brown and crunchy, when the ground feels like concrete beneath your feet.  At that point, a crucial question is presented to the suburban lawn warrior:  do you water incessantly, hoping to somehow stave off the inevitable, or do you give up the fight and let the hot summer weather chalk up another victory over the concept of the lush green carpet that is the aspirational goal posed by every lawn care ad?

No one wants to be grossly insensitive to the needs of our environment and basic principles of water conservation, of course, but no one wants to be the first house in the neighborhood with a dead straw-colored yard baked to a brick-like hardness, either.  June is awfully early to be presented with that difficult choice.  Usually we in the Midwest make it until mid-July, or even early August, before the obligatory brown-out occurs.  By then, our fellow homeowners typically will collectively throw in the towel and let Mother Nature do what may — in much the same way that gluttonous men at Thanksgiving dinner will abandon any pretense of pride and propriety, pointedly loosen their belts, and pound down another piece of pumpkin pie.

Of course, there is an alternative:  pray for rain.  You might just see me this week, making heartfelt sacrifices and doing a spastic rain dance in hopes of currying favor with the Rain Gods.

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